Overgiving, Overdoing, Over It: How to Set Boundaries Around Holiday Expectations

December often becomes a month of over-functioning. Especially for caregivers, parents, people-pleasers, and highly empathetic people.

You give. You plan. You manage everyone else’s expectations.

And then you crash.

Setting boundaries during the holidays isn’t selfish—it’s life-saving.

How to Know You’re Overgiving:

• You feel resentful but keep saying “yes”

• You’re mentally rehearsing how to cancel something you agreed to

• You’re burned out, but still trying to “make it special” for others

4 Ways to Set Boundaries (and Keep Them):

1. Use soft but firm language. “I wish I could, but I’m protecting my energy this week.”

2. Limit your bandwidth. 1 event per weekend? Done.

3. Decline gifts, tasks, or traditions that don’t feel good.

4. Don’t apologize for prioritizing peace. It’s a need—not a luxury.

You are not responsible for everyone’s holiday happiness.

Your job is to care for your nervous system—and protect your joy, too.