How to Reflect on the Year Without Spiralling Into Shame

As November winds down, reflection begins.

We ask:

• “Did I do enough this year?”

• “Why am I still stuck in the same patterns?”

• “Was any of this progress?”

But reflection doesn’t have to be a shame spiral.

It can be a gentle inventory—a practice of noticing what’s changed, what stayed the same, and what still needs tending.

The Problem With End-of-Year Reflection

We often evaluate our lives using productivity metrics: weight loss, career milestones, income, relationship status. But mental health, healing, and emotional growth don’t work that way.

Try These Questions Instead:

• What did I survive this year that no one saw?

• What boundaries did I learn to set?

• Where did I show up for myself, even a little?

• What am I still learning to let go of?

A Grounding Practice:

1. Light a candle.

2. Journal one thing you’re proud of (even if it’s just “I kept going”).

3. Write one thing you want to bless and release.

4. Don’t look for perfection—look for movement.

You’re allowed to be proud of progress others can’t see.

You’re allowed to look back with softness, not scolding.

You’re still becoming.